i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize