I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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