theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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