Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
