i may or may not be watching the land before time
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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