Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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