he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize