you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
