Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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