if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
