Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
