I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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