I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
