guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
