idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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