He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
