so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
