worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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