Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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