the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
