You're so nebulous sometimes
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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