Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
