I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize