dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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