Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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