Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
