please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Who died my cat blue again?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
