I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
