NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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