What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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