You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
