you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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