I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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