i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
