She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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