That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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