Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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