so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This is not my ceiling
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
