please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
