we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
