I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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