I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
