so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
