3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
