I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
there is glitter all over my balls
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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