She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
