i always forget guys have bellybuttons
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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