There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
