Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
