it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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