Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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