I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
