My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
