she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
