sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
