What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
