I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
