He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
